poem: checking out early

15 Apr

outside the front door
on the street
in the cold
under rain clouds
and storms coming soon
he pauses and paces
paces as he pauses
moving and twitching and shifting
his weight
from side to side
up and down
and around
and moving
cannot stop
cannot slow
cannot find a single
breath
to
pause

must move
must move
twitch and twitch
waits
for the door to crack
to open
to show a long line of light
of hope and approval
of bitter acidic brake fluid taste

he pushes
twenties
rolled and flattened
through the light of a May Queen
gets a return folded in saran wrap
he palms and pockets the product
walks quick nearly running
finds a corner fit for hiding
black as his Monday
black as his Friday
barely grinds
barely crushes
sucks a rock into a sinus
it burns just like bleeding

two more twenties
a too-young prostitute named Desire
fucks her in a hallway
of a condemned municipal building
hits a line in a bathroom
fluorescent light flicker
to the floor he collapses
his heart no longer proper
the others in rehab
have no idea he is gone

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